Start Going Out with Tobob

Forget the fashionably late entrance—he’ll be there before you’ve even started contemplating which shoes to wear. Germans take punctuality very seriously, so if you’re running late, he’s probably already at the pub, sipping on a perfectly poured pint and checking his watch with a look that says, “Time waits for no one—except maybe you.”

Let’s put it this way—if you can’t tell a pilsner from a lager, you might want to brush up. Germans have a deep love affair with their beer, and while he’ll never force you to drink it, knowing your brews could score you some major points. But don’t worry, he’ll still respect you if you order a G&T or mojito.

You might feel like you’ve swiped right on a human user manual. Germans love their rules and efficiency, whether it’s planning a holiday itinerary down to the last second or ensuring that the recycling is done with military precision. Don’t be surprised if he has a system for everything including dating—just sit back and enjoy the smooth, well-oiled ride.

Contrary to popular belief, Germans do have a sense of humour—it’s just dryer than your average British sarcasm. Expect clever wordplay delivered with the straightest of faces. If he makes a joke and doesn’t crack a smile, don’t worry, he’s not a robot—he’s just subtly testing if you’re paying attention.

Get ready to embrace the great outdoors! Germans love their fresh air and physical activities, so don’t be surprised if the odd casual date turns into a 10-mile hike with “just a few hills.”

You might need to brace yourself—Germans aren’t exactly known for their love of orderly queues. They’re more likely to efficiently bypass a line if they see an opportunity. If your inner Brit is crying out for queue justice, take a deep breath and remember that they’re just optimising the situation. Try to see it as a chance to improve your own strategic positioning!

While he probably won’t expect you to spout Goethe-level German poetry, tossing in a Guten Tag here and there won’t hurt. However, be prepared—he might insist on teaching you a few phrases, and it might be less “Ich liebe dich” and more “Schadenfreude.” Just smile, nod, and remember that language learning can be part of the fun!

Don’t be shocked if he doesn’t fully appreciate the sacred British tea ritual. Germans are serious about their coffee, and your afternoon Earl Grey might get replaced by a strong black brew that could wake the dead. If you can convert him to a proper cuppa, consider it a major relationship victory—just be prepared for a counter-campaign to get you hooked on espresso.

Yes, it’s entirely possible. Germans have a curious fondness for pairing socks with sandals, and while it might cause you to raise an eyebrow, it’s all part of the package. Consider it a quirky charm and an opportunity to introduce him to the wonders of British fashion. If he resists, just remember—he probably thinks your wellies-with-everything look is equally baffling!

If you’re wondering why your German date hasn’t made a move faster than a snail on a leisurely stroll, welcome to the world of slow-and-steady wooing. It’s a bit like the song Aurelie by Wir Sind Helden, where poor French expat Aurelie struggles to understand why the German guys aren’t making any quick moves. He’s not rushing things because Germans like to build a strong connection first. If he’s spending time with you, it’s a good sign, even if he hasn’t swooped in for a kiss by date two.